Hiro: I really don’t care… I bet he has both entrances trapped. We'll just have to face down whatever he throws at us.

Mortimer: Well, after we're done walking into certain death, can we stop by the food counter? I’m starving.

Hiro: Maybe…

Mortimer: ‘Maybe’ as in "Maybe", or "Maybe" as in there's no chance in hell, but you're to big of a sissy to disappoint me to my face?

Hiro: Both

Mortimer: Whatever, I’m just going to get some now. I’ll meet you back here when you’re done.

Hiro: No wait! (grabs arm) Despite my constant verbal abuse, I really need your help with this. I can’t do it on my own, and you’re the only friend I can trust.

Mortimer: Really?

Hiro: Maybe.

Mortimer: (tears up) You’re an asshole.

Hiro: Aw c’mon, I was just joking. Hey, if we make it out alive, I’ll buy you whatever you want.

Mortimer: (sparkly-eyed childish joy) REALLY!?!?!

Hiro: Yes, really. Now get your things, (serious face) we’re headed into the lion’s den.

(Scene change to inside Dr.’s reception area. The main doors are closed with a sign reading “CLOSED” with the times they are ‘open’ underneath)

Mortimer: Well, this is boring and anticlimactic.

Hiro: Huh…looks like they don’t open until 6…What time is it?

Mortimer: 5:30

Hiro: Crap (Notices Homeless Phil sitting at the receptionist’s desk) Excuse me…could you maybe let us in a little early?

Homeless Phil: All aboard the Cotton Candy train of Death! Choo Choo!

Hiro: Right….

Homeless Phil: Don’t worry kids! All the cotton candy you can eat, it’ll only cost you your eternal soul!

Hiro: (to Morty) Looks like we’ll have to wait.

Homeless Phil: (off Panel) Choo Choo!

Mortimer: This sucks. (sits and puts his headphones on)

Masa: (emerges from the main door with porn in his hand) Oh, hi you two. Sorry about not being out here when you showed up, I was...doing stuff.

Hiro: So we can come in?

Masa: Yeah, why wouldn’t you?

Hiro: You had a closed sign and your receptionist wasn’t very helpful

Homeless Phil: Choo Choo!

Masa: Aw crap. (chases after Phil with a  broom) I told you to stay in your hole unless you were going outside!!

(Hiro and Mortimer enter the main hall and are met with Dr in his dress uniform atop his folding chair throne)

Dr: Greetings Mr. Justice, and who might your friend be?

Hiro: He is Mortimer Valentine, my trusted mechanic and loyal soldier of truth.

Mortimer: About that, can you drop the second one, it sounds a little gay.

Dr: Well then, gentlemen, I invite you to join me for dinner.*evil grin*

(panel to Dr., Ertauq, Masa, Mune, Hiro, and Morty sitting and eating at the main dining table.)

Dr: My apologies gentlemen, but we’re a little short on funding. I hope the tacos are to your liking.

Hiro: Hell yes they are!

Morty: (to Hiro) this doesn’t mean you get off from buying me food after we’re done.

Dr: As you can see, I’m missing a few of the amenities of a true lair.

Hiro: Yes the paper plates don’t do so well for the aesthetic. (in the corner of the frame is written "He's been reading his Thesaurus")

Dr: That is why I brought you here today.

Hiro: If you think you’re going to use us for plates, you’ve got another thing coming!

Mortimer: (to Hiro) How in hell did you come up with that? I mean there are a thousand other things that he could do to us that would make more sense.

Dr: Indeed. I have a proposition for you, if you would focus your attention on the white screen. (Dr produces a remote, room darkens and the white light of a projection lights up the screen behind Dr).

Dr: As you can see…(clicks the remote, and a slide of a hentai picture shows up on the screen) In the process…huh…(clicks again and again, all of the slides are of different hentai pictures)…it seems my secretary has replaced the presentation I requested with hentai.

Masa: Best, slideshow, EVAR

Dr: Right, well. (clicks remote and throws it off screen, presentation turns off and lights turn back on) Simply put, I have a business proposal that I think you’d be very interested in.

Hiro: And what would that be?

Dr: A rivalry. Simply put, I’m strapped for cash, and I need a way to get my name out on the street. Now the best possible way for me to do this is to start a rivalry. The merchandising will be great, and it lessens the chance of me getting killed by some overzealous hero with a grudge. And from what I’ve heard, you’re looking for a villain to defeat.

Hiro: That is true.

Dr: Now, I have a plan to milk this for as much as possible. I propose several battles between us, ending in a 'best out of 15'. If I lose, I’ll concede defeat and you can get your license. If I win,you must forfeit all profits directly related to the rivalry, and you and your companions must remain at a distace of 100 meters from me, my friends, and my lair. Now, from here until the end of our rivalry, I’ll be attempting to create doomsday weapons, conquer Tokyo, enslave the human race, etc. All that fun stuff. You are perfectly allowed to stop me. However, these do not count towards the predetermined matches between us. Those will be scheduled between the two of us at least a week in advance. That allows us to market it and prepare as we see fit. What do you say?

Hiro: Sounds like a fair plan to me.

Dr: Great, now sign here and we’ll all be settled (form presented to Hiro by Mune).

Hiro: I have one condition.

Dr: What is it?

Hiro: We start our first fight right now.

Dr: *sigh* Alright. I wasn't prepared for battle, but I will manage.

Hiro: (signs slowly…several panels of Hiro’s terrible handwriting as he and Dr. lock eyes).

Hiro: NOW!!!! (Hiro leaps onto the table and charges with sword drawn as Mortimer follows trying to affix his blaster arm).

Dr: Not on the damn table, I have to pay for these damages you know! (Draws Ertauq and jumps onto the table) Masa, Mune, take care of the Emo kid.

Masa and Mune: On it. (Charge foreward)

Hiro: (still running along the ridiculously long table. The camera will go to the 'profile' of the table to show that it actually has lengthened significantly from a previous shot when the battle wasn't taking place) Morty! Keep those two at a distance, and whatever you do, don’t let the male one get a hold of your face!

Mortimer: Roger! (stops and fires a shot at Masa and Mune who dodge in separate directions. From now on, Mortimer will be firing at the demons in the background, as they jump around the room and on the walls).

Hiro: Yaaaaaahhhh! (overhead swing at Dr. who blocks with Ertauq) This is for my parents!

Dr: (still blocking) What about your parents?

Hiro: (backs off) What?

Dr: You said ‘this (horizontal swing that is blocked) is for your parents’ (another swing and Hiro dodges) so I am curious as to what happened to your parents. (overhead swing that smashes into the table as Hiro jumps back)

Hiro: You bastard villains killed them in cold blood, and besides, why would you care about my personal life? (several thrusts towards Dr. who has Ertauq by the back of the shirt, using him as a shield)

Dr: First of all, (throws Ertauq onto Hiro, who is caught up in a hug from him. Dr, then uses this opportunity to thow a punch into Hiro’s face. Hiro stumbles back). I don’t appreciate you categorizing all villains as ‘bastards’. We’re living breathing people just like you (several looking vertical slashes that Hiro avoids) except for the killer robots…and zombies…and demons…and all the other ones that aren’t human. (Both pause) And I do care about your personal life because I see it as being a proper villain and rival if I use said information to cause you utter pain and trauma and the future. Besides (horizontal slash at the face that Hiro flinches back from, but Ertauq gets a slap in), you never gave a thought about my parents. (Hiro who is nursing the slap to the face looks up startled)

Hiro: What…what happened to your family?

Dr: (spaces off, reminiscing) We were in debt to a bunch of gangsters. It was nothing we really had a choice in, it was just the way things where I lived. When we couldn’t afford payment, we secretly began stealing from the organization we where indebted too. We were getting close to finishing our payments when a stupid, headstrong ‘hero’ caught wind of it. (Here is where we cut to Mortimer firing at Masa and Mune who are on the chandelier. He hits the main support chain but it doesn’t fall…yet) He didn’t even care about the greater crime going on. He just wanted a little fame and notoriety. He fabricated a bunch of stories to make us look like the men we were indebted to. Pinning all of the local crimes on us…and then… (tear) he killed my parents as a 'lesson' to the rest of the neighborhood. (Yelling) And the cops didn’t do anything, THEY GAVE HIM A FUCKING MEDAL. SO DON’T GO BLAMING YOUR PARENTS DEATH ON ME!! I AT LEAST HAVE THE ABILITY TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN MY ENEMIES!!

Hiro: Oh, God…I’m so sorry.

Dr: Leave it be.We have other things to concern ourselves with. We were fighting remember…ERTAUQ-MERANG! (Throws Ertauq who flies into Hiro. And returns back to Dr)

Hiro: (Gets up from the group) Yes, we were and I think I have a little surprise for you.

Dr: and what would that be?

Hiro: Lightning Sword Strike Attack (text appears ‘calling’ the attack)

(Dr is hit full on with the lightning blast, sending Ertauq flying and Dr crumples to the ground)

Hiro: (walks over to Dr) So, Dr. Baron von Evilsatan, do you concede the match?

Dr: (Raises smoldering hand) I…(Chandelier crashes down on top of Hiro) win?

Dr: (gets up and inspects an unconscious Hiro) He’s out of it, what about…? (Looks over to the corner and sees Masa and Mune around Mortimer who is hugging his knees and crying into them)

Mune: (waves) We’re good! While Masa was distracting him, I hacked into his MP3 player and replaced all of his tracks with Hannah Montana.

Masa: (poking Morty with a stick) It basically neutered the poor guy.

Dr: Well, drag him over here. I think Hiro’s going to need his help back home.